It’s not that easy

I write often when I feel the creative urge. Writing when I’m overwhelmed though is a discipline I lack. Since last posting, I have been overwhelming overwhelmed. Not all the time and by no means without relief, but just enough that any creative energy has been spent on just keeping it all together. It’s also meant isolating myself a little. I’m certainly not on FB as much and calling/writing friends in Australia/NZ has also dwindled. My days are renovations, making decisions about renovations and a very full on job which has made me realise how much I need to get my “work-fitness” back up for. I’m seriously out of condition when it comes to working full time… and really, don’t let me start on my actual fitness and health. I’ve gained a size of clothing and I’m rather “plump” if you chose to be polite. This all sound morose and perhaps that’s the rainy weather… but if truth be told… renovating is as hard as they say.

As I write, the majority of the house is gutted – and, as it’s winter, that means a massive electricity bill just to keep us warm. Additionally, asbestos has been found and that’s an additional cost which we weren’t prepared for due to being told before purchase that there wasn’t any of this substance. My heart has been coping with the knowledge that Mr Incredible drilled into the sheeting (as we were under the impression there wasn’t asbestos so there was no reason for him not to drill into the jib to put up a fire alarm) and on that day Dash was his little helper, so he too may have been exposed. The fear in my heart is there.

We’ve been trying to move forward, planting fruit trees and keeping up with the mowing, but my soul longs for a tidy house and no. more. decisions. I’ll try to write a more positive post tomorrow, there’s a great deal that I’m positive about, but for this first post after my hiatus in writing I just needed to get all the baggage off my chest before I can write with a clean slate once more. For those I’ve neglected, I’m sorry. I really am.

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