The desire to conform

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“You were born an individual, don’t die a copy” The A-Frame sign seemed to jump out at me as I was walking through town yesterday. It’s whiteboard slogan resonating with so much of what I’ve been thinking of and feeling the past few days. You see, I feel a little out of place here – not as a person so much but with my clothing. I was struck at my daughter’s pōwhiri (a traditional welcoming service) and parent meeting later that evening, at how “upper class” many of the ladies dressed. Linen dresses (which I do adore), roman sandals, high end bags and oozing a sense of style… which all seemed to match with each other in an almost uniform.

The feeling of insecurity is almost laughable… but I admit to it being there. It’s not that I don’t have friends who always look incredible – I do and love to hang around them because I love them as people, know that they accept me as I am regardless. I also love their sense of style. I feel insecure here though because I don’t know the “rules”, I don’t know the people and, with everything else going on, don’t have the confidence right now to push through and pave my own fashion path as I’ve always done. I’ve always viewed clothing as an expression of self – wearing things as a reflection of my mood (or to bolster it). I feel like I need to find my “self” here and who I am in this new place. I don’t want to be a cookie cutter shape though and will resist the desire to conform as much as right now I just want to blend in.

Adventure Girl’s school though is amazing. We are incredibly blessed to have her there and be part of the community. It’s certainly a new season for us but one we’re all growing into.

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